It's a new year today, and I need to start this off on a decent footing. I can roughly chronicle what the last year has been like, health-wise, for an accounting. Weighed in at 203 this morning. That puts me 7-8 lbs up on my average weights between April and June, and about five lbs heavier than on January 1, 2020 (from my hangboard workout that day). So i'm definitely fatter than a year ago, but no so far off the mark that it's utterly hopeless.
Did a lot of riding this year until very recently, and got a few PRs. Strava more than doubled their subscription price, so i can't access my stats from the last year until i'm ready to be raped for a phone app. From a more useful app, it looks like i got in roughly 600mi this last year on the mt bike.
Climbing has just spiraled into the sun this year due to covid. There's nothing climbable in this rotting hell of town, and they closed the gym down. Climbing is not a family priority (meaning, basically, that it isn't an animal that has to be fed) so it gets no money apportioned to it. As yet, then, I haven't been able to build a boulder. Have been hangboarding for the last few weeks, and it's shown me how far out of shape i've gotten over the last 6 months. Have gotten 6 workouts in so far: 5 on the "Enduro 2" timer and one on the "Intermediate". Maybe i'll get it back.
Haven't been running. Haven't worked out on weights since the world shut down--so again, prolly six or eight months or so. I've basically been living on cortisol and high-sugar, high-lard crap for the last two months; have been drinking way too much; and in a nutshell have been trying to find some way out of the overwhelming mediocrity and meaninglessness i've chained myself to.
I'm very much wanting some resolution, some resolve. I can't help being meaningless and i can't help that my life makes no sound and i can't help that i have no friends or community; but i think i can help that i'm fat and depressed about it. Maybe i can help that i'm a poor example as a dad. Maybe i can write more and reflect more and play video games less and eat less. Maybe i can cut out the trash carbs and cheese that the fam subsists on, even if it means i make my own food for every meal.
Maybe i can go for a walk even if it's too cold or far away for a ride.
