Another week of green faces

i'm starting to tweak like a crack addict. i really like carbs, and i really like dairy. i miss them. Like the deserts miss the rain. i like pasta; and i especially like pasta when it's covered in cheese. Oh, and i like beer. i really wanted a beer last night. i guess that's why it's a diet. i just wish i could turn it into something a little less rigid and punishing, and a little more of a permanent lifestyle sort of thing. It has highlighted for me how much crap i've (again) become accustomed to packing down the pie-hole. i know i gained at least ten pounds since thanksgiving. i've gotten in the habit of eating stuff that even i don't normally allow into my body. i have gotten back down below 200lbs again.

Swam on thurs. 5 x 100s on a 10 sec interval for the working bit, for 1,300m total. Gotta get back on the bike. Gotta, gotta.

Went climbing on tues, wed and fri. Tues, Steph and the kids went with me, so it didn't end up being much of a workout; but it was fun. Started out on wed knowing that it was going to be a bad session. Began by getting shut down on a v3--which portended ill. i could not send that thing. Then i couldn't even get started on a v4 next to it. Irritating. But then i think the warm-up settled in. Ended up hooking up with a group of strong guys and sending a 5, and working all the moves on another 'un. Yesterday i went back and did a really long, serious warm-up; and i stretched really carefully. Sent that other 5 first try. Went to the cave and sent that v3 i'd been shut down on like the light hors d'ouevre it should'a been. Weird how strongly your attitude and pain-tolerance-du-jour figure into a workout. Then we spent most of an hour working out the moves on a ver' tricky v6. i'm 98% sure that'll go next time i get in to the gym fresh and strong. we climbed 'til i was falling off of 2s and i wore a hole in my finger flesh. i was ready to go home, when a v5 sloper smote me with desire. Worked all the moves on it into two parts, but i didn't have the juice left to link. That'll go next session methinks.

Anyhow, it was encouraging that i can still climb fairly hard after the damage i've done to me o'er the holidays. m' fingers are thrashed, and there is TENS unit time in my future, but i'm not the adipose-induced paraplegic i'd feared i'd be. And if i can send a v6 at 198lbs, that gives me huge motivation for losing more. i really do want to re-tool this diet into something less monotonous that works out to be just a really consistently healthy, controlled lifestyle. i really don't think my problem is nuts and yoghurt; i think my problem is total lack of discipline. (Although it's seriously good for me to be free of cheese, grains, and EtOH for some periods of time.)

i dunno...maybe something like week on, week off sort of a thing for a while: something demanding enough that i wouldn't have time to re-acclimatize to being a junk food-swilling alcoholic. i don't like what i became over the break, but i've got a pica-like craving for more carbs than i'm getting. i just really, really want to get down to 185lbs. Suggestions?